It’s almost graduation time.

I’ve had 11 weeks of intensive tutoring from the world’s best. Eleven weeks of knowledge, guidance and mentoring from the leading personal training company. Eleven weeks of accountability and support, and soon I’ll be flexing my new muscles at my photoshoot to share with you all what I’ve achieved since the start of the year.

I’ll also be all on my own – I’m a little bit nervous about that part.

I’m very much motivated by making other people happy or proud. When I train for anything, I am independently motivated of course, but I also put a lot of pressure on myself to impress others who are invested in my journey too.

This time round, that’s predominantly been my trainer, who has given me so much time, effort and knowledge to get me to where I am now. When I get a high five at the end of my session, or a ‘looks great!’ when I send across my food pictures for the day – it gives me a great feeling of satisfaction to know that I have not only done myself proud, but he is pleased with my efforts too.

Learning how to give myself a high five after training, or to take pride in making good food choices will take a little extra practice once this is over – but I feel like I’m getting there.

 

The beauty of UP is that they won’t just leave you on your own at the end of your programme. They will follow up with you, give you support afterwards to ensure that your progress can be maintained and that you can continue to make even more. They invest in their clients and support you fully whatever stage of the process you’re at.

I’d just like to add in at this point, that this stage of the process is still no easier than day 1.

Training today (day 77) was brutal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a whole lot stronger than I was at the beginning, but my trainer knows how to keep the intensity high to keep me making progress. I also want all of the food. I'm not necessarily craving bad food, I've just developed a little devil on my shoulder that keeps trying to evoke self-destructive tendencies. I thought that by now it would be a breeze, however, the call of the treats is strong this week! 

I’ve spent a lot of this week feeling very torn between two feelings. Excitement and panic.

I spend some hours of the day excited for the end and eagerly anticipating it – to the point where that little devil on my shoulder is going ‘Screw it – you already look pretty good, just have some cake!’ It’s easy to think at this point, that I’ve done most of the hard work so ‘what would be the harm?’

In all honesty, though, I really couldn’t do it to myself. I would find it extremely hard to actually follow through on these thoughts because I’ve invested so much time and effort into being disciplined over these last months that I would feel like I’d let myself and my trainer down.

I’ve always been the sort of person to attack any challenge – if I’m going to do something I’m giving it 100% and then some. No ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’. So no treats yet! There's still time to go and those few days are just as important as any in this 84-day challenge!

Front squat

Which leads me to the other feeling, the slightly stronger feeling – panic.

Whenever a time-frame is involved, as the end nears it is only natural to be apprehensive and to worry as you approach the finish line. Will I look good enough? Will I have done enough? What will I do after?

That’s the big question for me this week – what will I do after?

Me and the other members of the office embarking on transformations have laid out plans for things we want to do – to eat great food and toast our achievements. However, it’s starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable – the thought of being let loose. I am so over the moon with what I’ve accomplished, how I look and how I feel – the thought of undoing any of that hard work is scary.

As always, it’s about finding a balance.

I would hope that this blog has been able to give you a peek behind the curtain, as to what a 12-week transformation is truthfully like; the ups and the downs; the good, the bad and the ugly; the sacrifices and the success. With just one week to go (and then just a few days until my shoot!) it’s all about staying focused. I can’t wait to share my results with you, so now it’s about keeping that discipline high and those feelings of panic in check.

“You’re alright,” as my trainer would say. And I am – I’ve got this.

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